What’s my calling?

mood04

 

I spend two hours of valuable time everyday commuting back and forth from work, and my mind keeps me entertained! Last night was another example; Miss D was drawling away on the radio, taking a whole minute to complete her short sentences. “Howww aree you aall doooiiinnnggg? It is a beuuuuutiful day todayyyy…”, she went on and started giving callers (I still wonder if it is a group of people set up to provide questions, for her to provide relationship advice to!) her opinion on how they should run their lives! That’s where my mind wandered off.Hmm, I can definitely do a better job at being a radio jockey? Then I thought about my short-lived tryst at public speaking. I had lifted my sword as the Rani of Jhansi at a fashion dressing competition when in middle school, and froze there,  glittering Rani dress, mang tikka, big bindi, et all, but no words of encouragement to the open mouthed (and now snickering) middle school kids. Rule that thought out!

I then thought of how my decisions had always been a process of elimination. I don’t like this, this, this, this, and oh, that doesn’t sound like a bad option, I would think and land at the only option on the table. So if not an engineer, what would I have been? What was my calling? I am one of those people who dreams big, but is too afraid to move out of my comfort zone to try something out. An average person (read non-Indian) changes their career seven times in their life. I have changed it about thirteen times (all in my head). I have loved being a part of so many extra curricular activities when in school. Dance, music, art, and even the Exnora club! I loved every one of them, all except my physics and chemistry that I was doing in high school! In one dream, I was an active volunteer with the Exnora club, doing my master’s in Waste Disposal,in another,I was teaching tiny tots Carnatic music, and in another one, I was a personal stylist, telling the ladies ( and some clueless gents) what would look good on them!

There have been several occasions at work, when too much stress has always left me thinking “Maybe I am not cut out for this!” I was moving from my first job, and a few uncomfortable days at my second one proved me wrong. Some of the traits, that were hidden at the first one as a newbie, came out while handling situations at the second work place.My survival instincts had to be used because I was now outside of my comfort zone, and hey, I survived! I was not bad at my job, I had been inexperienced. A new city, new work and social environment, new responsibilities, and a new husband gave me perspective!

The new place and no known faces around in the beginning, and the long commute, made me wallow in self-pity. The commute did one good thing though; it gave me enough time to think about what would make me happy. I decided to stay as actively involved as I possibly could in everything I liked. Sure, I can’t make a living out of trades that I was no master at, but I can still stay in touch to stay happy! Bharathanatyam classes, Paint Nite once in a while, blogging (I did miss mentioning that I had had a penchant for words and writing as a kid, that I completely lost touch with), reading, styling my clothes ( read shopaholic) and singing for myself and my family can keep me as happy as making a living out of any one of them! In fact, happier; now I am proud to be the jack of all trades, but the master of none! 🙂

The image used is off the internet. You gotta love Calvin and Hobbes!

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