I meant to post this on March 1, before we turned 2, but oh well!
As written on March 1….
My dad reminded me this morning that exactly two years back, H landed in Chennai for our wedding. The scene is still pretty vivid in my head- the entire bride’s entourage; appa, athai, cousin, ET all, along with the groom’s family, waited for a glimpse of his head bobbing over everybody else’s (he is pretty tall, you see!). Appa wanted to garland him as he came out, and knowing how embarrassed H would be , I was all set with my phone camera in hand, to capture that moment!
Two years later, looking at that picture, triggered an entire afternoon of memories from where it all started, leading up to the wedding.
H is not even remotely cheesy, and I think I am almost there with him, so I will skip all the details and get on with where the wedding preparations started.
I always thought that when it came to my wedding, I would be extremely excited, be a part of every decision made, every single thing bought, and being bride-zilla meant I could have my way in everything I had dreamed of! This is not even close to any part of an Indian wedding! The funny part was, I wasn’t even complaining. When it came down to the specifics of how many people would be invited, how many people I was going to call, the caterers, the invitation designs, the photographers, the venue, and so many other things, I was extremely overwhelmed, that I was more than happy letting others make that decision for me.
I would do a few things differently if I had to do it again now (H has already given me the glare for even talking about ‘do it again’,so it will not be happening)!! I met random maamis, maamas, friends of my dad’s and distant cousins. However, so overwhelmed was I, that I was cut off from everyone and missed inviting some important people that I would have liked to have with me on the day. I could have made a few decisions to make my dad’s life easier (after all, he was going through the same amount of work, and decisions to make!).
I was looking forward to all the shopping, but when it came down to just having two weeks after I was in Chennai to get blouses stitched, and lehengas made, I had to resort to letting others choose a few things for me. I wanted to stay away from silk, and this made life hard for H’s family! They had to make my nine yards specially made with ahimsa-silk, and go to a thari to look at zari saris that were made of ahimsa silk (a post is long due on this one). Every time someone asked me if I was stressed about the wedding, I would so, “Why stressed?It’s fun!”. In my defense, I did think that it was, until the wedding was done. I had been stressed subconsciously! It came out in short bursts, as I looked for some space to breathe with loving aunts around me while changing sarees or getting my makeup/ hair done. What should have been a fun affair, and some stolen moments between rituals of them making fun of me, pouring in a thousand suggestions, and feeling like an active part of the bridal brigade, turned out with me estranging myself from the fambam.
But our wedding wasn’t without its funny moments!
When I landed in Chennai, so naive was I, that I thought only my dad and athai would be at the airport! I had the husband’s extended family waving to me too, as this was the first time they were meeting me, after all! Here I was with 2 big alcohol bottles from the Dubai duty-free store,while meeting my in-laws for the first time!
Then there is that popular story of H walking out on me at the reception. This story comes up in every party, friends get together, or my go-to funny story (my contribution to any place I want to make conversation!). H found our photographer very annoying because he kept re-clicking pictures when people closed their eyes. Our reception, as a result of the slow photographer, and the crowd, went on for about 5 – 6 hours. It was a while before we got to the family and close friends’ portraits, and we were allowed to sit in that fancy sofa provided to us. The clock struck 11.30, and H got up and left in a huff. Here I was, the poor bride, thinking that the husband-to-be would come back after a drink of water. Comeback, he did, but this stime he came out wearing his “potatoooo” minion t-shirt! I los it. i think that gives the end of the story? :p
Then there was the other time when the aforementioned wonderful photographer would ask H to “wet his lips” because he found it very dry in the pictures.
So brides-to-be, bridezillas and the saner brides, please note. Your wedding will be what it will be. It’s not just about you, but the people around you and the memories you make of it. Enjoy every single moment, and yes, that includes the moments that don’t go your way too. There is no such thing called a stress-free wedding. Soon after your wedding, you will think back to the funny times when you did something totally out of character,the times you made your aunts and uncles and parents happy, and the times you were sane during your wedding! Do not be afraid to delegate! A bad saree can make for a story, but an angry bride will make for sour moments. So chill…
These memories and lessons- learned, along with a few embarrassing moments, flooded to my memory. I (we) still haven’t gotten around to seeing our wedding pictures and videos. Maybe completing two years should be reason enough to get to it?